Settling

I am ordinary. I have not achieved any degree of stature, notoriety, or renown. I live a quiet life, doing the same day to day things that everyone else does, maybe even a bit more under the radar then others around me. No one looking at me would say to themselves "there goes Somebody". And that's okay with me. Once upon a time, when I was younger, I had a burning desire to be Somebody; a person who has done, and continues to do, great things. I didn't believe that living an ordinary life was conducive to accomplishing anything noteworthy. To do things of merit, your name had to be written in the stars for all to see and recognize. Quiet was not desirable; I had to shout to have my words be worthwhile. Happiness hinged on having the respect and admiration of others, to be seen as being a person worthy of that respect and admiration. I've learned so much since then.

Yes, what you do is important. Your actions create ripples in this life that extend out far beyond you. I would never argue they are not. Your actions define you and your principles in the eyes of others and serve as inspiration and motivation for those whose lives you touch. You have the ability through them to make the world a better place for all and the duty to do so. But just as important is the person that you are and that you choose to be. It's the person inside; the inner being whose thoughts and feelings guide those actions. And the only person who can truly appreciate that person is you, because you are the only person that can truly see that inner being in its unadorned state. You are the only one who can hear the rhythm of your own drum and follow along.

I talk about settling because it is something that so many of us do and that we are all tempted to do. Settling on a temporary basis can sometimes be the rest we need to regroup before carrying on, but many of us get stuck there. We confuse settling in our lives, our selves, our hopes, and our responsibilities for acceptance. We tell ourselves that we have gotten "real", that we "see things the way they really are and have dealt with it." But have we done that, or are we using "acceptance of reality" as an excuse for settling and conforming to a routine, ideal, or mode of living that is easy and comfortable? One that has been handed to us by others?

Wait a minute, you say; my life is not easy. I have a lot of obligations. I have people who count on me. Some days I feel as if I am pulled in too many directions at once and there are not enough hours in the day to do all that I need to do. I am not saying that your life is carefree; the point I want to make is that by charting a course that is set out by others and their idea of what life is and should be, we have settled for the easy path in life. It is hard to decide what the right way for YOU is and even harder to follow it when it runs counter to what everyone else is doing; to follow the path that is genuine and unique to you. It is much easier to just go along with what everyone else thinks is right and what everyone else's version of a successful life is.

Look around you, look at your life. How much of it is someone else's idea of what your life should be and how much is yours? How much of what you have someone else's idea of what the trappings of success is and how much is what you need? Do you judge the worth of someone or something by how it will be perceived by others or by what it means to you? When you add things to your life, do you still continue to feel empty, even while those around you look at you with envy?

I may be ordinary. I may have a quiet life. But it is my life, the opinions of others be damned. I have chosen not to settle, I have chosen to strike my own path into sometimes unexplored territory. I do not know where I will end up at the end of this journey, because I am not following the path of someone who has ended up at a destination and has cleared the way for me to see. It is scary and hurtful sometimes; there are times I feel alone and misunderstood, even looked down upon. That said, when you hop off the beaten track it is hard to go back. Sometimes I my path runs parallel to others or even merges with others, but when it does it is by choice. In the end, it is still my path and my destination. And I wouldn't have it any other way. The fact that I am ordinary means that my "achievement" is nothing special; it is something that we all can do. Something that YOU can do.

We are coming to the end of one year and the beginning of a new one. Use this time of reflection to ask questions and take stock of your life. Listen to the answers, even if they are not what you want to hear. Listen with YOUR ears, see with YOUR inner eye and not with the ears and eyes of others. Be true to the person you are inside and make adjustments that align your life with who you really are and what you really believe. Trust your inner self; he/she is far better and more kind than you would think. Blaze a trail unlike any that has been traveled before and do not settle for the beaten track. While you may be on your path alone, you have company. Good luck and God speed.