One 8 year old boy is sitting in jail pending arraignment for the premeditated murder of his father and his father's friend with a shotgun. An 18 year old just got life without parole for the stabbing death of his best friend 4 years ago. Seems he lured his friend into the bathroom at their middle school and stabbed him 42 times so that his friend couldn't tell anyone of the fact that he was planning to become a serial killer. He also had plans to murder another friend and his sister as part of the cover up.
Is it just me, or do these kinds of happenings just point out that there is something seriously wrong? If only this sort of violence was isolated, but it is not. Columbine, Heritage High, Virginia Tech, and scores of other murders committed by teens and children have been most noteworthy for the level of violence and degree of planning and foresight. While murders by children have always existed, it is this escalation of method that is truly disturbing. The other thing that stands out is the lack of awareness that the parents of the children seem to share. Everyone else around these children sensed there was something "not quite right" to outright wrong, but no one did anything about it or seemed to be able to communicate to the parents the seriousness of the situation.
There are so many reasons why this sort of thing occurs, but we need to take a look at, and take responsibility for, society's role in what happened. We card children when they try to buy alcohol or cigarettes, but do we card them when they try to get into or rent violent films? Do we card them when they try to purchase violent video games? Do we do enough to make parents aware of the damage these things do? When I can go and see a horror film on a Friday night and see parents there with their small children, there's something wrong.
These crimes are shocking, and they should be. They are a warning sign, a wake up bell. We all need to listen, pay attention, and come up with viable preventative methods to keep this from happening in the future.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
The power of change
Change is a scary thing for many people; it creates unknowns in a known universe. However, even in a known universe, there are things that are not what they could be. How can anything get better if nothing changes? And why, just because something changes, does that have to mean that it will always be for the worst?
While I wasn't afraid of change, I was always wary of any change that I did not create or could not manage. Change was only acceptable if it was according to my rules or my time table. I thought that it was somehow reasonable to expect change to occur that way. Guess what... it doesn't? Change comes as it comes, for better and for worse. But sometimes change that does not seem positive or beneficial at the time turns out to be one of the best things that ever happened to you. Change is a constant and you can't stop it, but you can use it to be a springboard for growth and improvement no matter what it brings.
We cannot control what happens in most cases; outside forces and the whims of others are not subject to what we want. We can, however, control how we let them affect us and how we respond to them. By taking responsibility for how we react to change, we can shape change and its effect on our lives. Just because something happens that doesn't go along with what you think or feel things should be doesn't mean it is the end of the world. Don't make a situation that is merely uncertain into a negative one by acting out of fear; learn from it and use it to become better. Take time to think, then act in a way that maximizes your growth potential. Why should you hand your power over to someone or something else?
There is truth to the adage of mind over matter. Let your mind make change and the negative things that happen into positive learning experiences and opportunities to exert control over their outcomes. Walk away stronger and taller, with the confidence that the next time you are faced with adversity or the unknown, you will be just fine. Maybe even better than fine.
While I wasn't afraid of change, I was always wary of any change that I did not create or could not manage. Change was only acceptable if it was according to my rules or my time table. I thought that it was somehow reasonable to expect change to occur that way. Guess what... it doesn't? Change comes as it comes, for better and for worse. But sometimes change that does not seem positive or beneficial at the time turns out to be one of the best things that ever happened to you. Change is a constant and you can't stop it, but you can use it to be a springboard for growth and improvement no matter what it brings.
We cannot control what happens in most cases; outside forces and the whims of others are not subject to what we want. We can, however, control how we let them affect us and how we respond to them. By taking responsibility for how we react to change, we can shape change and its effect on our lives. Just because something happens that doesn't go along with what you think or feel things should be doesn't mean it is the end of the world. Don't make a situation that is merely uncertain into a negative one by acting out of fear; learn from it and use it to become better. Take time to think, then act in a way that maximizes your growth potential. Why should you hand your power over to someone or something else?
There is truth to the adage of mind over matter. Let your mind make change and the negative things that happen into positive learning experiences and opportunities to exert control over their outcomes. Walk away stronger and taller, with the confidence that the next time you are faced with adversity or the unknown, you will be just fine. Maybe even better than fine.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Let the fighting commence...
The scraping and clawing in the now defunct McCain-Palin campaign has already begun. McCain has not come out and said anything, but his aides and advisers have started to deflect the blame to the Palin side of the ticket. And it's not too hard to believe.
Palin did not do the homework and preparation to fully step into the role she accepted. We can only speculate why. But it is obvious that she believes that she has, and is worthy of, a national political future beyond this election. I don't think she is worthy, because she took the best opportunity she had to really make a splash and she squandered it. I know she squandered it with me. I was seriously considering a vote for McCain because of his experience, but his choice of her and how she handles herself after accepting the position of his running mate made me run too- AWAY.
If she is serious in her political aspirations, then she needs to use the next 3 years to seriously bone up, venture outside of Alaska and the US, do a stellar and unimpeachable job as the Governor of Alaska, and develop some expertise on areas that do not directly affect her daily life in Alaska. She also needs to do some soul searching and learn some tolerance and appreciation for viewpoints other than her own and the differences in the people of this nation.
The US is not Alaska, and Alaska is not representative of the US. To lead the American people as a nation, Sarah Palin needs to stop thinking like an iconoclast whose opinions are the only ones who are right and start thinking as an individual with a unique viewpoint to contribute for the benefit of the whole. When you become a national leader, your viewpoints are no longer your own to act upon, your actions affect the welfare of the whole. You must be open to what is in the benefit of the whole and act accordingly, even if it is not what you personally believe in.
Until Mrs. Palin can do that, she has no business being a leader on the national stage. She needs to stay up in Alaska with people who are just like her and who think just like her. Those are the people she would best represent and lead. Maybe one day she will be ready, but with her flippancy and smug self-satisfaction, I'm not sure she'll ever really get it. The mountain of the American people will never come to the Mohammed that is Sarah Palin.
Palin did not do the homework and preparation to fully step into the role she accepted. We can only speculate why. But it is obvious that she believes that she has, and is worthy of, a national political future beyond this election. I don't think she is worthy, because she took the best opportunity she had to really make a splash and she squandered it. I know she squandered it with me. I was seriously considering a vote for McCain because of his experience, but his choice of her and how she handles herself after accepting the position of his running mate made me run too- AWAY.
If she is serious in her political aspirations, then she needs to use the next 3 years to seriously bone up, venture outside of Alaska and the US, do a stellar and unimpeachable job as the Governor of Alaska, and develop some expertise on areas that do not directly affect her daily life in Alaska. She also needs to do some soul searching and learn some tolerance and appreciation for viewpoints other than her own and the differences in the people of this nation.
The US is not Alaska, and Alaska is not representative of the US. To lead the American people as a nation, Sarah Palin needs to stop thinking like an iconoclast whose opinions are the only ones who are right and start thinking as an individual with a unique viewpoint to contribute for the benefit of the whole. When you become a national leader, your viewpoints are no longer your own to act upon, your actions affect the welfare of the whole. You must be open to what is in the benefit of the whole and act accordingly, even if it is not what you personally believe in.
Until Mrs. Palin can do that, she has no business being a leader on the national stage. She needs to stay up in Alaska with people who are just like her and who think just like her. Those are the people she would best represent and lead. Maybe one day she will be ready, but with her flippancy and smug self-satisfaction, I'm not sure she'll ever really get it. The mountain of the American people will never come to the Mohammed that is Sarah Palin.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
A day worth celebrating
Today is a day worth celebrating, for many reasons. Of course the election of Obama and what it means as a mandate for change and a blow (but not the destruction of) overt racism is a reason to celebrate. The thing that I find worth celebrating the most is that I think we finally got two candidates, based on what was said last night, who realize what we are up against, what we have to do as a nation to move forward, and that both have a true commitment and love for this country. While their means to achieving what needs to be done would vary, I firmly believe that they both have their hearts in the right place. For that reason, I do not think there would have been a truly "wrong" choice, even though I am more in alignment with Obama's view on how to move forward. That we are able to, at such a critical time, come up with two candidates who I feel put a united and whole America first in their hearts is in itself a beacon of hope.
That said, it is up to us and the rest of Washington do do our part. One man alone can inspire change, but cannot MAKE it happen by himself. We must take up the banner, and the shovel, and get to work, clearing up the mess in Washington, in society, in our communities, and in our homes. The time to act is today, because that's all we have the power to truly change. The future starts now and today is the day we begin to make it. If we make the right decisions for the right reasons, we won't have to worry about the future- it will take care of itself. We all know what is right in our heart of hearts, now we all need to JUST DO IT. I believe what has been true all along- YES, WE CAN.
One more comment about yesterday's election- racism is far from dead. It has just gone underground. When asked "publicly" in polls, more than 50% of people in the former slave states were for Obama, yet in the privacy and anonymity of the voting booth, an average of 55-60% of voters voted for McCain. A coincidence? I think not. It is just another of the affects of political correctness; racists will not fess up to being racist in public for fear of ridicule, but in private (voting booth, chat rooms, blogs, radio talk shows) where they will not face any direct consequences for airing their views, all kinds of ugliness comes out. They know they are wrong and that saying it out loud is wrong, but they believe it anyway. I live in the South, I have both seen and heard it. Anyone who thinks that yesterday was some sort of death knoll to racism is sorely mistaken. If America was not more frustrated with Bush and the Republican party than they are resistant to voting for a black man, the race would have ended entirely differently. The Republicans should be the one sitting up and taking notice- white America would rather elect a black man than put up with 4 more years of the same. Yes, this election WAS a mandate for change, but not in the way that it should have been.
In saying this, I am not trying to take anything away from Obama. I voted for him. His message of hope and optimism inspires me and I think he will do his best to do a good job. If I was guilty of -ism in voting for him instead of McCain, it was ageism. I don't think a man whose views on life were formed over 50 years ago truly has the ability to understand the world as it exists today the way it needs to be understood. The world he grew up in simply does not exist. White, black, yellow... makes no difference to me. Who can do the job in a manner that I think befits the integrity this nation should have? Who has the best solutions that will best impact this nation's future? Who has the best ability to be the leader this NATION needs? Those are the questions whose answers matter to me. I would like to see a woman in the job- and not Sarah Palin- a real woman who is not afraid to be a woman in every sense of the world instead of having to prove how tough she is. But that's just me...
I will hold out hope for that day, but in the meantime, I am happy with the choice America has made and am rolling up my sleeves as we speak...
That said, it is up to us and the rest of Washington do do our part. One man alone can inspire change, but cannot MAKE it happen by himself. We must take up the banner, and the shovel, and get to work, clearing up the mess in Washington, in society, in our communities, and in our homes. The time to act is today, because that's all we have the power to truly change. The future starts now and today is the day we begin to make it. If we make the right decisions for the right reasons, we won't have to worry about the future- it will take care of itself. We all know what is right in our heart of hearts, now we all need to JUST DO IT. I believe what has been true all along- YES, WE CAN.
One more comment about yesterday's election- racism is far from dead. It has just gone underground. When asked "publicly" in polls, more than 50% of people in the former slave states were for Obama, yet in the privacy and anonymity of the voting booth, an average of 55-60% of voters voted for McCain. A coincidence? I think not. It is just another of the affects of political correctness; racists will not fess up to being racist in public for fear of ridicule, but in private (voting booth, chat rooms, blogs, radio talk shows) where they will not face any direct consequences for airing their views, all kinds of ugliness comes out. They know they are wrong and that saying it out loud is wrong, but they believe it anyway. I live in the South, I have both seen and heard it. Anyone who thinks that yesterday was some sort of death knoll to racism is sorely mistaken. If America was not more frustrated with Bush and the Republican party than they are resistant to voting for a black man, the race would have ended entirely differently. The Republicans should be the one sitting up and taking notice- white America would rather elect a black man than put up with 4 more years of the same. Yes, this election WAS a mandate for change, but not in the way that it should have been.
In saying this, I am not trying to take anything away from Obama. I voted for him. His message of hope and optimism inspires me and I think he will do his best to do a good job. If I was guilty of -ism in voting for him instead of McCain, it was ageism. I don't think a man whose views on life were formed over 50 years ago truly has the ability to understand the world as it exists today the way it needs to be understood. The world he grew up in simply does not exist. White, black, yellow... makes no difference to me. Who can do the job in a manner that I think befits the integrity this nation should have? Who has the best solutions that will best impact this nation's future? Who has the best ability to be the leader this NATION needs? Those are the questions whose answers matter to me. I would like to see a woman in the job- and not Sarah Palin- a real woman who is not afraid to be a woman in every sense of the world instead of having to prove how tough she is. But that's just me...
I will hold out hope for that day, but in the meantime, I am happy with the choice America has made and am rolling up my sleeves as we speak...
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
A historic day
While I recognized the importance and relevance of what may possibly happen today with the election of Barack Obama to the presidency, the impact of what it symbolised did not hit me until I heard the comments of a newscaster from one of the cable news channels. He was going on about being a proud "son of the South" and said that it hit him when his 6 year old daughter, upon hearing that Obama was taking Alabama in the polls, said, "Daddy, isn't that the place where they used to use water hoses on black people?" I saw then just how far we had come. While it saddens me that we have not come far enough to elect a woman, and that civil rights came for blacks before the feminist revolution gave equivalent rights to women, I am hopeful that one day a woman will be sitting in the Oval Office. Maybe in time for the 100th anniversary of the woman's right to vote, which did not happen until 1920. As long as it is not Sarah Palin... 'nough said, bless her gosh darn heart by golly!
I am also saddened for Mr. Obama at the death of his grandmother. That she was not able to see her grandson most likely get elected President tonight is a shame. I feel for him that he did not get the opportunity to share that milestone with her and that he has had to put his grief on hold.
I, like the rest of the country, especially those who cast their ballots early, will be sitting and waiting to see happens today.
I am also saddened for Mr. Obama at the death of his grandmother. That she was not able to see her grandson most likely get elected President tonight is a shame. I feel for him that he did not get the opportunity to share that milestone with her and that he has had to put his grief on hold.
I, like the rest of the country, especially those who cast their ballots early, will be sitting and waiting to see happens today.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Masks...
We all wear masks, masks defined by the roles we play and how we wish to be seen by others. But when do they stop being masks? Masks are something we can take on and off that cover what exists underneath; what truly is. Do we know what is truly underneath the masks we wear? Or do we see our masks as ourselves?
When we meet someone and say that we want them to see and know us for who we really are, do we want them to see underneath or do we want them to see us as we WISH to see ourselves (for better or worse)? This can work both ways- we could want them to see us as the wonderful person we believe ourselves to be or as the ugly person we are afraid that we are. But is that wonderful person or ugly person the true us?
I think at times others have the ability to see and know us better than we are able to know ourselves. They see through the lies and false image we present for our own benefit every day. But can anyone ever help us to see the real us? If we cannot know the real us and others can never fully know the real us, is there a real us to know? And if there is not, do we have the ability to create ourselves and form it into the ideal vision of who we want to be?
They talk about space and the ocean being the final frontiers. I don't believe that is so. I believe that our psyche and the depths of our identities are the final frontier. Even if we spend our whole lives trying to figure out who we are, both as individuals and as a species, I don't think we'll ever have a definitive answer. And even if we do, it will be gone the next moment as a new experience changes it a bit.
Does that mean that we should never try to understand who we are? I don't believe so. I think that we have to understand enough about ourselves to find the consistencies within ourselves and use those to base our identities on. We create our own stability and use it to create stability in this world for those we touch. We are the eye in the storm we call our lives. I guess in the end the best you can do is to be true to what you believe is the most accurate version of yourself you have experienced.
When we meet someone and say that we want them to see and know us for who we really are, do we want them to see underneath or do we want them to see us as we WISH to see ourselves (for better or worse)? This can work both ways- we could want them to see us as the wonderful person we believe ourselves to be or as the ugly person we are afraid that we are. But is that wonderful person or ugly person the true us?
I think at times others have the ability to see and know us better than we are able to know ourselves. They see through the lies and false image we present for our own benefit every day. But can anyone ever help us to see the real us? If we cannot know the real us and others can never fully know the real us, is there a real us to know? And if there is not, do we have the ability to create ourselves and form it into the ideal vision of who we want to be?
They talk about space and the ocean being the final frontiers. I don't believe that is so. I believe that our psyche and the depths of our identities are the final frontier. Even if we spend our whole lives trying to figure out who we are, both as individuals and as a species, I don't think we'll ever have a definitive answer. And even if we do, it will be gone the next moment as a new experience changes it a bit.
Does that mean that we should never try to understand who we are? I don't believe so. I think that we have to understand enough about ourselves to find the consistencies within ourselves and use those to base our identities on. We create our own stability and use it to create stability in this world for those we touch. We are the eye in the storm we call our lives. I guess in the end the best you can do is to be true to what you believe is the most accurate version of yourself you have experienced.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
I LOVE Halloween...
What can be wrong about a holiday that lets you be whatever you want, or have ever wanted to be? I love to see people's costumes and try to guess how they wish to see themselves in their heart of hearts. Like the regular guy who dresses as a superhero. Or the mild mannered woman who chooses to be a witch, a longtime symbol of female empowerment. I was a ghost pirate this year- wonder what that says about me? That I like stealing and am tired of life? Or let's get really metaphysical and say that I wish to bring about the death of materialism and excess? I know, I know, that's stretching it, but I'm sure a psychiatrist out there who is an adherent of Freud's that would have something profound to say.
What was your costume, or the one you would have chosen had you dressed up? Think for a minute- what might it have to say about you?
What was your costume, or the one you would have chosen had you dressed up? Think for a minute- what might it have to say about you?
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